Acceptance

_DSF3062Acceptance is simply the recognition that things have changed and will never be what they were before. This is how we find the strength to journey on. We accept the truth of what happened. We accept our hurt, our anguish, our sadness, our anger, our shame, and in doing so we accept our own vulnerability.  РDesmond & Mpho Tutu, The Forgiveness Challenge.

It’s been almost 12 years since my husband Lee died. But only in recent years have I accepted that I will never be the same as before. In many respects, that is a very GOOD thing – I am more easy-going (scary thought, huh? What WAS she like before!),¬†more driven to artistic expression, more in awe of the world around me.

I am also more fragile, more easily frustrated, more easily broken. I am still learning to be gentle with myself, and to safeguard myself against those who are strident.

It’s a spiritual journey, walking the path of my broken, stumbling, dancing, laughing, crying, fragile self. As I learn to accept the truth of my journey, I grow stronger. And, I hope, more content – with myself, with the world, and with the path.

To Begin to Forgive

I started Desmond Tutu’s 30 day forgiveness challenge this week. It must be rocking my subconscious boat, because since I’ve begun, I’ve been easily angered, swiftly upset, quick to tears and cranky words.

I think that means the challenge is doing the work it needs to do. At least, I hope it does. That it doesn’t mean, five days in, I’m already failing.

I know that, despite the hastily aroused emotions, I’ve been feeling more like I’m being led, and less like I’m adrift without sail or rudder. The seas are choppy but not too stormy: drizzle, not deluge.

Is this how forgiveness begins?

 

If you’d like to join the challenge, click here: Tutu Global Forgiveness Challenge